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I find this beautifully amusing

Perhaps three years ago, I ran a roleplay blog. While looking at it to review past writing, I came across an RP in which my character gave her husband a red panda plushie (here) for his birthday … .

I shit you not when I say that I gave Josh that EXACT red panda plush for his birthday in March … welp, I just cackled like a fucking hyena 

  • (So, at family dinner my boyfriend was going to announce that he's getting a new car and our apartment is coming along . . . didn't go the way we wanted)
  • Josh: *Puts his hand on leg and smiles* So, I don't know if I should wait to tell you guys the good news.
  • Boyfriend's Mother: *Eyes grow wide* You're pregnant?!
  • Me: *Puts hands up* Woah, no, that would NOT be good news!
  • Josh: *Purses lips* So . . . I got the car.
  • (So, after driving home from my boyfriend's parent's dinner night, I decide to stop at the grocery store because I know pasta is on sale. I go in and see soup is also on sale and call my boyfriend. He doesn't answer, so I text his mother saying 'no worries, all is okay, can you just have Josh call me? I think his phone is dead'. So, a few minutes later I call him and here's the conversation as followed)
  • Boyfriend: *really hurried* Hey, jesh, is everything okay? It's a little soon for you to be home, did you get into an accident, are you okay?
  • Me: Soup's on sale . . . I just wanted to know what soup you wanted
  • Boyfriend: *Long pause*
  • Me: I got clam chowder already, but there's chicken soup and beef stu and . . .
  • Boyfriend: (All you can hear is him laughing)
  • Me: I'm not dead, just wanted to get some soup.
  • (TEXTS FROM LATER)
  • Me: That bill went from $38.27 to $12.64. I think I do good.
  • Boyfriend: Good, babe. You did good.

Apparently my ass is more comfortable than the tempurpedic cat bed tonight …fantastic 

  • Friend: Your animals are so spoiled
  • Me: *Looks at tempurpedic cat bed* Pssshhh . . . nahhh
rockyhorrorpictureshowpics:

My first tattoo that, of course, is in memory of my favorite movie and my kitty that passed away.

I need to get my third soon!

rockyhorrorpictureshowpics:

My first tattoo that, of course, is in memory of my favorite movie and my kitty that passed away.

I need to get my third soon!

So today I got horrible news from the doctor

To make a long story short, when I want to have kids (which I really do or did in the future), I’ll probably have multiple miscarriages before it sticks … and even then, it’s a pretty slim chance of happening.

So yup, I’ve been crying for a little bit now.

koalatea:

i hate when ppl make fun of me for trying 2 be positive and spread good vibes like fuck your bitter ass i spent a good portion of my short life being bitter and angry and suicidal if i wanna shoot sunshine out of my ass then i fuckin will 

So, I had a woman come up to me and say ‘I know it’s Mexico, but you really shouldn’t be drinking if you’re pregnant’.

No … I’m just fat.

But thanks, lady.

Holy shit, I’m leaving for Mexico in like five hours … damn

I honestly hate when my cousin fucking messages me out of the blue because it’s always bullshit that spurs me into tears. This time it was about Ferguson and how everyone is wrong but the cops

Trigger warnings below.

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So, I’ve come to realize my cousin deleted me from facebook after he lashed it out on my post over the Ferguson situation. He basically was on the cops standing point and surprisingly, I didn’t respond. 

He just tried adding me back and I don’t know why I accepted at this point. 

Seriously though, ranging from his views on abortion laws, LGBT standing points (even though I’ve been an open pansexual for years), and now this, my respect for him has shriveled down. Oh yeah, I’m a crazed liberal too for standing up for shit when all he rants is how Obama and Hillary are like Hitler.