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Myself alongside the Rocky Horror (and scrabble) legend, Sal Piro, and the beautiful words he said to me.

Dat’s me :D

And you get to see how fucking pale I look

So this is what I do when I can’t sleep … post selfies and probably regret them later.

So this is what I do when I can’t sleep … post selfies and probably regret them later.

Asked for by anon -  a fun one and a nice one.

Sorry I look so tired but it’s 1am and I’m rather run down

  • Me: If I could make cookies, I would totally make you a batch and leave it on your doorstep with a little bow around it, but yeah, I'm not good at baking things without possibly killing you.
  • L: I don't like cookies. But thank you.
  • Me: Fine, I'll make it a pizza. I'll text you telling you to look outside and there will be a fucking pizza on your front porch with a big red bow around it.
  • Me: What kind of guys do you like?
  • Karley (Younger Sister): The guys I've showed you.
  • Me: Most of the guys you've showed me are gay.
  • Karley: Shut uppp
  • Mum: *Looks to see I'm wearing the same sweatshirt I always wear* So, are you known for that sweatshirt?
  • Me: Yup. Did you know Einstein owned several of the same outfit and wore the same clothes every day to simplify his life?
  • Mum: Yeah, but Einstein also married his cousin . . . don't you being doing that.
  • Mum: *Knocks on my door* Hey, are you watching porn in there.
  • Me: No, I'm watching True Blood, but it's kinda the same thing.
  • Mum: Hey, are you getting up?
  • Me: *Looks at clock* Oh jesh, yeah, I'm up, I'll get dressed.
  • Mum: Why? Do you have somewhere to be?
  • Me: Yeah, school.
  • Mum: It's 7 at night. What do you want for dinner?
  • . . . . this is my life.
  • Me: So, yeah, the Westboro Baptist Church might be coming.
  • Dad: Who?
  • Mum: The idiots that picket funerals.
  • Dad: Oh. Well, they won't be away with that in Boston. Bostonians won't be putting up with that shit. I'm sure there will be some blood if they try and get too close.

My Mom Everyone

  • Me: Guess what mother fuckers might be coming to Boston?
  • Mum: Who?
  • Me: Westboro Baptist Church.
  • Mum: They won't get anywhere near what's going on. Bostonians won't be putting up with this bullshit.
  • Me: They says it's because we let gays marry.
  • Mum: Dumbasses