1 2 3 4 5
  • (So, at family dinner my boyfriend was going to announce that he's getting a new car and our apartment is coming along . . . didn't go the way we wanted)
  • Josh: *Puts his hand on leg and smiles* So, I don't know if I should wait to tell you guys the good news.
  • Boyfriend's Mother: *Eyes grow wide* You're pregnant?!
  • Me: *Puts hands up* Woah, no, that would NOT be good news!
  • Josh: *Purses lips* So . . . I got the car.
  • (When talking about getting an apartment and having my sister take my room and me hers)
  • Me: I don't know if I could fit all of my stuff in her room. What should I do with it?
  • Dad: Well, I thought you'd maybe, uh, bring it with you since it's 'your' stuff and it'll be 'your' apartment.
  • Me: That's a good idea . . . Yup, it's four am . . . I need to go to bed.
  • Mum: So what does Josh's house look like?
  • Me: Well, it used to be a nunnery.
  • Mum: So you're having sex in a nunnery. Do you feel like you've let Jesus down?
  • Dad: So . . . I picked up your 'medication' today.
  • Me: *Raises eyebrow* Oh?
  • Mum: The birth control . . . are you and Josh getting hot and heavy?
  • Me: *Rolls off the chair and onto the floor*
  • Me: *Coughs* So, yeah, I'm kind of dating someone right now.
  • Mum: Boy or girl?
  • Me: Boy.
  • Mum: *Smacks me in the shoulder* Will you just pick a fucking team?
  • Me: *Grumbles*
  • Mum: I don't give a shit, just don't get pregnant.

I feel like a part of Mum died tonight when she pieced together that I wasn’t a virgin. She did the ‘Mum pout’ of ‘oh shit, she’s not a kid anymore’. 

  • What I remember from graduation
  • Me: I hope you know I'm wearing all of my rings and my Deathly Hallows necklace when I walk across the stage.
  • Mum: I don't care. I don't want you to walk across looking like someone you're not.
  • Mum: *walks in while I'm cleaning* Did you want a vanity to replace your old desk?
  • Me: How do I feel about mirrors at night?
  • Mum: You're afraid of them.
  • Me: Does that answer your question
  • Mum: Yes *closes door*
So this is the accuracy of my life … then she texted back telling me she’d be arriving home in a strech limo … bloody fuck

So this is the accuracy of my life … then she texted back telling me she’d be arriving home in a strech limo … bloody fuck

So, my parents came to the Rocky showing tonight

rockyhorrorpictureshowpics:

That was

Um

Welp

Yeah

At least I was Mags intead of Trixie

So this fucking happened

So Mum got me a custom made blanket and I’m in love

So Mum got me a custom made blanket and I’m in love

So, being as blind as I am, I couldn’t see a picture. It was a man with his shirt up and I thought that he perhaps had a tattoo. So, being a stupid idiot, I made the picture larger. It was a man showing his penis …  so naturally I said rather loudly - That’s a penis, that’s a man’s penis. 

From my sister’s room I hear - You’re following the wrong people on that website. You hate penises. 

Anonymous sent: Word: love

What do you know of true love? 
Well, not so much as you, perhaps, but not so little as you might think. 
You? You loved someone? 
It was a brief flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness. 

*Coughs* Sorry.

I suppose I can say that I hold many a love for many people, but I am not in love with anyone. I have thought I have been, but that has only led to heartbreak. I always look to my parents when I try and figure things out. My Mum once said to my Dad, “You are the love of my life, I could never be without you.” (I’m honestly crying as I write this). If I ever find love half as amazing as theirs, I’ll be forever happy.

Be well, kind anon.

~A

  • Mum: Hey, how would you feel about getting a smartphone?
  • Me: *Shrugs* Do I get to keep my number?
  • Mum: You should. I mean, it'd be nice to have a smartphone, yours doesn't have unlimited texting.
  • Me: Mum, as long as I keep my number, I don't give a shit.
  • Mum: You're not a normal child.
  • Me: Nope!

A compilation of my favourite ‘little stories’ from tumblr.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5